Relationships are simple. And of course, we complicate them beyond repair. Life as we know it comes with a mixed bag of emotions, opportunities and challenges. When in any relationship, the idea is to be steady, to grow and to work your way through all these stages gradually. It isn’t that easy… but most things in life aren’t. Give it a shot and I’m sure you will get the best out of it.
Stage 1: I, Me and Myself
Whether you are just starting out in a new relationship or already in one for long, and facing trouble, start now with Stage 1. Focus on yourself, it is as simple as that. Make sure you are fully aware of your doings, your moods, emotions, decisions and so on. Expect only when you are willing and capable enough to do the same for the other. Don’t start a relationship by relying on your partner, family member or anyone you share this relation with. When you are clear about yourself, what you want and what you are willing to contribute, you are good to enter Stage 2.
Stage 2: We, Us, Together
As you enter Stage 2, make it about you and your partner, mom, dad, sister, brother or whomsoever your relationship troubles are with. Stage 1 will give you an understanding about how to divide your time. When you are self-confident and aware, you will know how to create the balance. Any relationship that you are in requires time and effort. And this only comes with clarity about oneself first, and then knowing the other person. Don’t force yourself or raise expectations right at the start. Understand why the other person is doing something, saying something and give them time. The more you rush for an outcome, the more troubles will occur. Make this stage about you and that person. Do more things together, explore and get the best understanding possible.
Stage 3: Come On In People
Hey! Done with Stage 1 and Stage 2? You are all set to enter Stage 3 now. It is where all the people in your life come in. Call them the third person, others, social circle, friends, acquaintances and so on… Let them in your life only at this stage. If you allow people to enter your life right at the start or the middle or any relationship, you will not be able to work your way through it. Instead, your life will be overshadowed by random advice, opinions and too much outside involvement. So allow people to come in only when you are confident and understanding enough about yourself and your partner (or any person in any given relationship).
These three stages are great for the start of any relationship, and if you are already in one, it can work even now. Give yourself and your loved ones a chance. Maybe the way you look at things isn’t the way they do, for each person is different. Talk, emote, share and give time to the amount which is required. You will get a sense of balance as you progress. But just make sure you are in it for all the right reasons. Cheers!